Remembering some of Derek Acorah's best Facebook updates
To everyone who has expressed concern: Yes I'm fine. I'm not going to kill myself so that I can finally meet Derek Acorah.
There's nothing like a death to find out what people really think of you - and I'm not talking about your own.
Today I woke up to the sad news that Derek Acorah, my favourite Scouser and perma-tanned TV ghost botherer had died after a short illness. I also woke up to more than a dozen messages from my mum, former colleagues, close friends, people I've not seen for years, and other random 'internet friends' all asking me, "are you OK?"
Like all great friendships, I can't precisely pin down when the spooky Wotsit-skinned medium first popped in to my life, but I can definitely tell you some of my favourite Acorah-moments, and most of them are from 'liking' him on Facebook.
I'm hideously addicted to Instagram these days, but 10 years ago I was all over Facebook... and so was Derek. He would post some incredible updates, and I would eagerly share them - it's actually no wonder so many people have me on long-distance suicide watch right now.
I know a lot of people didn't like Derek - people called him a fraud, claimed the controversial 'live Michael Jackson seance' was the most distasteful TV show ever made, said it was impossible that he could ever get possessed by a monkey... but I am sad he's gone. Least of all as now my social media feeds will be a lot less orange.
However, I'm excited to see how Derek gets in touch from the other side, as I'm sure it won't be long until fans are spotting 'orbs' around his favourite drinking spots in Spain, or there is some sort of 'weird disturbance' at his funeral.
In the style of his Big Brother best bits, here are some highlights from his Facebook page... (and speaking of Facebook, we have a cracking video of him in action over on ours, give it a watch and a like!)
This remains my favourite ever Derek Acorah post. I'm surprised people didn't think the walls were possessed every time he opened his eyes or mouth. Do ghosts have veneers? Only he can tell us that now...
Not stabbed to death in Blackpool
Like all superstars, Del had to deny untrue death rumours.
Imagine being stabbed to death in Blackpool! What an ending that would have been. He could have haunted the Big Dipper, or the 'Hotel Miami' where my friend and I stayed in 2009 after watching East 17's 'comeback gig'.
Pot Noodle birthday cake
Sometimes you get a sign from the universe that your favourite celebrity is your favourite for a reason. And this, dear reader, was mine.
A birthday cake featuring two of my favourite snacks - although after learning there are over 500 calories in one of those delicious, moreish, salty Pot Noodles, I won't be eating one any time soon.
Wheel of misfortune
Derek shared an interview he did about his love of personalised number plates, and how he hoped to one day have a car for each of the SEVEN he had registered to him.
He said: “I’ve always thought of private number plates as an extension of one’s personality. To have your name or your profession displayed on a vehicle is the ultimate accolade and testament to the success or achievement of your work.
"I am proud and privileged to be the nominee of such fantastic individual number plates and look forward to eventually owning a fleet of vehicles with them all on display.”
His death is good news for other people with the surname 'Acorah'.
Think ghosts you think pale, almost translucent... Derek will be bucking that trend, I just know it!
Hopefully you can get a sunbed in the spirit world. I'd like to think his guide 'Sam' has loads ready for him.
Loved 'the services'
I was furious that in all the years I had been to these services I never even had a decent Burger King, let alone meet one of the most famous men in Britain having a coffee and a fag.
I hope that Oxford Services do the right thing and put a blue plaque up.
Well-connected... to spirits AND the living
I particularly liked this update - he had spent two weeks in Spain, not been held as a hostage by ISIS or lost in the jungle.
Like we saw before, Derek had an ability to colour match his surroundings - and here he is doing it in broad daylight!
I'd love to know what he was looking at on his iPad - perhaps he was looking back over some of his best Facebook posts, or checking there were no rumours going round that he had been stabbed to death in Blackpool...
Scumthing to ponder
'Waging war against the green algae'... Derek probably could have sorted out this whole WWIII situation brewing in Iran.
He was the Chuck Norris of mediumship.
I like to think that if he stayed close to that palm tree for long enough, he would have turned brown and green.
Now we'll never know.
For someone who made a living out of death, Derek sure did love life... and a boogie.
Here he is getting fans in a 'Happy' place with his own interpretation of the most annoying song ever released.
Fun fact: This is the only non-Ed Sheeran song that can trigger a blind rage when I hear it.