Horror-scopes: Is Misery's Annie Wilkes a true Aries?
At Christmas time, most people put on a some sort of Scandinavian style knitted jumper and crank up the Slade. Not me. I treat myself to a night in all by myself to wrap gifts and watch Misery.
Well, I'm never by myself at home thanks to my pair of elderly former street cats, who ironically my own mother claims are trapped in the feline version of Misery after I 'snatched' (i.e. rescued) them, neutered them and gave them a new happy, safe, clean life as housecats.
For those of you who aren't familiar with the 1990 adaption of Stephen King's 1987 novel, author Paul Sheldon is rescued from a terrible car crash by super-fan Annie Wilkes (she doesn't castrate him, but she does lock him up).
She nurses him back to health at her remote cabin home, and can't resist sneaking a look at his latest manuscript, which is when the romance novel obsessive discovers that his new book kills off her favourite character, Misery Chastain.
Annie goes off on one, taking brutal action to incapacitate him before locking him in his bedroom and forcing him to rewrite the book so she can continue to enjoy Misery's escapades forever more.
Now, without going in to spoiler territory, a lot of people think Annie is a total psychopath, and when I experienced the agony of a broken ankle a few years ago I did perhaps start to see her in a different light, but overall I think she and I would be friends.
If I'm being honest, I don't think it would be that bad to be kept prisoner - no rent, no bills, no chores… perhaps I need to commit a crime rather than keep waiting for a marriage proposal from a cruel but extremely wealthy Emirati Sheik.
But is Annie a typical Aries?
Annie was born on April 1 1943, and Astrology Zodiac Signs shares some basic - but vital info - for understand these fiery women.
They write: “It is sometimes hard for her to recognize her emotions and she can easily lose patience for herself and others, but if you give her space to solve her issues on her own, any conflict will be avoided.
“There is a deep, warm emotional nature to her and a lot of energy she likes to give away to people she loves. It is important not to take her for granted and understand her efforts to make your life better.”
In one tense scene, Annie blasts Paul for using bad language in his books, snarling: "At the feedstore do I say, "Oh, now Wally, give me a bag of that F-in' pig feed, and a pound of that bitchly cow corn"? At the bank do I say, "Oh, Mrs. Malenger, here is one big bastard of a check, now give me some of your Christ-ing money!"
Astrology Zodiac Signs have an answer for this too, writing:“When she seems too aggressive and loud, try to remember that this is just the way she talks. She expresses herself a bit different that your ‘regular’ woman. This is actually not such a bad thing because you will always know what’s on her mind.”
The gang at Ganesha Speaks add more insights that perfectly match up with what we’ve seen from Annie behaviour-wise.
They write: “These positive women will try to do their best to get what they want, but on the negative, they will frown and sulk if they are ignored or things don’t turn out as per their expectations.
“Aries women tend to become confrontational and domineering.”
This definitely sounds like Annie, but in her defence, it was all Paul's fault!