• Emma

Paranormal pregnancy is a legitimate literary genre

BINGE ON TEN PARANORMAL PREGNANCIES FOR £6.16!!

Paranormal pregnancy, what does it mean to you?


Does it remind you of the The Entity, or perhaps Jill getting knocked up with the devil by a teenage boy in Nighty Night?


Or perhaps you’re a fan of interspecies fiction, and know that “paranormal pregnancy” is a whole genre of “literature” that sees everyday women roped in to being surrogates for alpha male weretigers’ cubs (this is an actual plot I kid you not), or female werecoyotes and male werewolves facing execution as they have blended their sacred bloodlines.


Real books read by real people

The other day while researching WerePups (also a thing), I stumbled upon this formerly unknown genre, and I’m not sure if I’m happy about it or not.


For a 10-book (TEN!!) bundle currently for sale on Amazon, the blurb crows, “WereBabies is a collection of Shapeshifter romances featuring one common theme, producing a BABY!”

Book upon book of nonsense like this - I can see why people like it

I almost feel like I’ve just “discovered I’m pregnant with a werebear’s cub in the most terrifying way possible” (another genuine plot).


Don’t get me wrong, I’m jealous of these authors’ imaginations, least of all as I know how hard it is to write a piece of erotic fiction.


About 8 years ago, while delirious with norovirus, I tried writing my own version of 50 Shades after having a vomit powered “vision” of getting stinking rich and reinventing myself as a slutty Barbara Cartland.


I showed the manuscript to a friend I used to work with, he’s the kind of man who can get a semi thinking about sitting on a turned off washing machine, and it didn’t even spark a twitch in him.


Furthermore, the publishers I sent it to (one of which claimed it accepted submissions featuring ‘soft incest’) also told me it was awful.

Depressingly, this paranormal pregnancy sex scene is like Shakespeare compared to my attempt at an erotic novel

I found it near impossible to describe the passionate mid-air romp involving Dianne De Silva, a 50-year-old CEO of a high end chair brand, and two muscular air stewards - so god knows how you weave a shape shifting, snarling, humanoid dog in to the mix.

'Tall Dark and Polar'... I'm DONE

And what about the um, bits and bobs? How do you make a slimy, tapered, lipstick tipped member in to something desirable?


Sadly I can’t answer that. I will never read these books for one very valid reason - I never want to pat a dog and call him a “good boy”... and see a good lay.



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