Rick Dyer: The man with BIGFOOT'S PENIS
Dog trainer first; Bigfoot hunter second and probably an entertainer third.
The man, the legend in his own lunch time, the man who could probably tried to sell ice to eskimos (bear with me, I'm getting inuit) first came to prominence in 2008 after he announced he had possession of a dead Bigfoot.
He claimed that he and a buddy came across the beast's corpse while out on a hike in their native Georgia, and that the pair of them had taken it home and shoved it in his chest freezer for safe keeping.
At a meagre 7ft 7 inches and weighing 500lbs, (uber strong) Dyer and his accomplice 'easily' managed to carry the great beast out of the forest undetected. Obviously no one just has an empty chest freezer waiting for a furry treasure, so he had a lot to contemplate while scoffing 46 quickly defrosting ready meals.
Who knows if he pondered the impact of discovering the greatest scientific find of the last hundred years as he waited patiently for the microwave to ding... again.
Supposedly, without any knowledge of how freezers work, Dyer filled the chest freezer with Bigfoot and enough water to contain the animal in a conveniently impenetrable block of ice.
The finders, who claimed not to be Bigfoot hunters prior to their find, got in contact with premiere big foot hunter Matthew Whitton who swiftly arranged a press conference in Palo Alta, California. Minus the actual Bigfoot body, which was now at an undisclosed location due to security, Whitton fielded questions about the discovery to a packed out room for almost an hour before being joined by Dyer who answered, amongst other questions, about his lack of knowledge surrounding frost free freezers.
However, as it thawed the authenticity of the subject came into question when Jared Parrino, a costume shop owner, said that it certainly ‘looks like one of our costumes’. Once defrosted it was clear to see that it was a cheap gorilla outfit that had been topped with roadkill entrails and slaughterhouse remnants.
Dyer, however, remained stedfast in his story claiming that an unknown government agency had confiscated the cadaver and he had perpetrated the hoax to avoid embarrassment.
Not to be perturbed by his now infamous reputation, Dyer decided that the best way to make money was to hunt a real Bigfoot, and that’s exactly what he did. In 2014, Dyer claimed to have hunted and killed an 8 foot Bigfoot in the woods near San Antonio, Texas using a pork chop nailed to a tree as a delicious bait. However, this time, Dyer wasn’t ready to show off his find until the end of a (convenient) non-disclosure clause with investor, Andrew Clacy, had expired. Clacy, who may have not done his due diligence on Dyer, flew from Australia to promote the Bigfoot and claims to have spent $12,000 with the hope of recouping it 10 million fold.
Upon, that clauses release, Dyer produced a blurred photo of his prize capture along with a statement that the DNA of the creature had been tested and that it verified that this was indeed an unknown species. Along with Russian Bigfoot scientists (not sure that's a thing?) and a supposedly accredited taxidermist, Dyer was really going for it.
With the greatest find discovery of the modern world and with the world seemingly at his feet (again) Dyer took his specimen on a tour of Walmart parking lots charging $10 to see ‘Hank’ and a very special sold out Q&A and viewing at a theatre where tickets were $20 a head.
However, upon an angry confrontation with his financier Andrew Clancy, who expected more than a tour of redneck hotspots, Dyer admitted that it was a hoax and Clacy severed ties and flew back to Australia claiming that he had been a fool to believe the hoaxer and that the whole thing had ruined his life. During the fallout from his second hoax Dyer still claimed to have the body of Bigfoot but has yet been unable to provide any proof. It is claimed that Dyer made $60,000 out of his hoaxes.
Dyer, seen here dressed as a clown and having a chat with Santa Claus, is now running seminars on how to be a used car salesman at https://www.mrgoodguys.co and using his original Bigfoot tracking youtube channel.
Dyer will be remembered as a scammer, con artist and liar, but that's just the used car sales (ba-dum-tss!).