Bring back Boglins! Modern kids are missing out on monster playtime

For those with younger children, you maybe aware that ruling the roost for this year’s must have toy at Christmas is Cubby Bear, a freakily expressional and dextrous bear who will act as a surrogate parent for just enough time to allow you to smoke a fag on the toilet.

But whence I was a young warthog the toy market was awash with My Pet Monster, Monsters in my Pocket, Wearbears and Madballs - we were still in the age of having to use a hand as faux intelligence, and strapped to that was a Boglin.

In 1987, Mattel released the first line of Boglins and it became a worldwide hit, and homes everywhere were invaded by the flexible rubber fiends.

So now, we ask politely but firmly to give us back a taste of the monstrous 80s and allow us to interact with a potentially sweary, crude and flatulent AI Boglin. And yes, we want them to do everything in this advert