'Did they take bath' and other alien questions answered by a dulce employee
Time capsules aren't just for Blue Peter and school kids, the chances are that you have one in your hand right now. I'm talking about your browser's collection of bookmarks, which you have probably been mindlessly adding to aimlessly for years and never giving a second thought.
My personal one came crashing back to the surface the other day when I noticed loads of amazing sounding websites listed when I opened Safari (yes, I know it's a shit browser).
I'm currently revisiting some of the best ones, and unsurprisingly they're mostly about aliens.
It seems that at one point I was also interested in enrolling in a £250 residential crafting weekend to learn how to make a quilt. I can barely sew on a button, so that was clearly an ambitious plan.
Of the scores of absurd websites I squirrelled away for later, one that has particularly jumped out on me is a 'Q&A' with Thomas Edwin Castello, who was one of the security guards at Dulce, and one of three people who have spoken about and thus confirmed the American military base's existence.
Dulce Base is so top secret no one even knows whether or not it exists. While everyone knows of Area 51, the sinister shenanigans that apparently go on 300 miles up the road have made Dulce the scene of even more lurid and violent theories, unsubstantiated claims, and incredulous conspiracies.
The most famous tale from Dulce is that there was a full blown gunfight between aliens and humans, a subterranean bloodbath. The Daily Express wrote about it, which obviously gives the story real gravitas.
The page I bookmarked was a forum on AlienHub.com, titled 'A terminally ill Thomas Edwin Castello speaks out'.
Now, in a true TL;DR moment, I read the first and last of the 67 pages and it appears that this entire thread is a load of nonsense. But until that is established, it's an entertaining read.
The OP claims that he has known Thomas Castello under a different name for several years, but recently he disclosed that he is the famous Dulce whistleblower - and as he is dying, and can't use a computer, could he use him as a proxy for a Q&A via a few alien sites so he can get his 'truth' out there. SEEMS TOTALLY LEGIT.
Obviously the questions come thick and fast, but it's a list of very intricate queries about his alien colleagues' sex lives, hygiene habits and favourite snacks that really caught my attention.
The OP dutifully replies, saying that the aliens drink a special liquid to stay alive, don't wash themselves (well he can't be sure as he didn't have access to their 'private chambers'), and were scared of guns but actually terrifying in their own way as they have no emotions.
But one question asked over and over again, is whether there has been any inter-special rumpy pumpy.
One UFO-botherer asks: "Did they try to mix sexually with the humans? If they succeeded, were any mix children in the base?"
'Thomas' replies: "They did not try to create hybrids The humans at the base did try to create hybrids.
"As far as Thomas knows this line of experimentation was a failure. He didn't see any human/alien hybrids. He did see alien/animal hybrids.
"There were many issues with this line of research. He regularly spoke openly with scientist with regards their projects and found that combining species is in the very early stages."
If this has really delighted you, why not add Sinister Isles to your bookmarks - and in 8 years be reminded of the day you learnt about Dulce and how aliens keep clean. But if that's not enough, one dedicated conspiracist has made a webpage of the Q&A in full so you don't lose a day-and-a-half wading through the forum... you just lose a day-and-a-half scrolling down a single page.