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Horror-scopes: Michael Myers is totally a Libra

Like many Libra men, Michael Myers struggles to keep things on an even keel

I have always claimed I could survive without Instagram. But today I realised quitting it is simply too risky - if I had followed through on this (empty) promise yesterday, I would never have learnt that today, October 19, is Michael Myers' birthday. And then I would never have been given the opportunity to answer the burning question, 'is he a typical Libra?'

The answer, in a nutshell, dear reader is yes, yes I believe he is.

Today would be deranged killer Michael Myers' 62nd birthday

According to astrologers (and Cosmo) Libra man is passionate, loves parties, and when he sets his sights on a partner, he won't give up until they're his.

  • Passionate (about killing) - tick

  • Loves parties (Halloween ones) - tick

  • Won't give up on a special someone (poor Laurie Strode) - tick

Cosmo's zodiac expert adds: "He usually moves in a graceful way, but when the balance is off, it is off!" - another tick.

Libra is a sign that strives for balance - as represented by its symbol of scales in perfect harmony - but getting there can be tricky, and people born under this sign are renowned for being incredibly indecisive, fickle-minded, non-commital and natural liars.

Another negative trait is that they never admit they're wrong, or accept blame.

There are loads of Michael Myers-inspired birthday cakes on Google... here are three of varying quality

And in 40 years of Halloween movies, have we ever heard Michael Myers even so much as mumble a half-arsed apology?

As his psychiatrist Sam Loomis said: "Michael Myers is the most dangerous patient I have ever observed. He's covering up. This catatonia is a conscious act. There is an instinctive force within him. He's waiting."

He's definitely imagining this cake is a person

At least today we can hope he is carrying around that kitchen knife for the right reason... to cut his birthday cake.

I discovered that today is everyone's favourite William Shatner-faced lunatic's birthday via the @Official.MichaelMyers account.


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