Horror-scopes: Michael Myers is totally a Libra
I have always claimed I could survive without Instagram. But today I realised quitting it is simply too risky - if I had followed through on this (empty) promise yesterday, I would never have learnt that today, October 19, is Michael Myers' birthday. And then I would never have been given the opportunity to answer the burning question, 'is he a typical Libra?'
The answer, in a nutshell, dear reader is yes, yes I believe he is.
According to astrologers (and Cosmo) Libra man is passionate, loves parties, and when he sets his sights on a partner, he won't give up until they're his.
Passionate (about killing) - tick
Loves parties (Halloween ones) - tick
Won't give up on a special someone (poor Laurie Strode) - tick
Cosmo's zodiac expert adds: "He usually moves in a graceful way, but when the balance is off, it is off!" - another tick.
Libra is a sign that strives for balance - as represented by its symbol of scales in perfect harmony - but getting there can be tricky, and people born under this sign are renowned for being incredibly indecisive, fickle-minded, non-commital and natural liars.
Another negative trait is that they never admit they're wrong, or accept blame.
And in 40 years of Halloween movies, have we ever heard Michael Myers even so much as mumble a half-arsed apology?
As his psychiatrist Sam Loomis said: "Michael Myers is the most dangerous patient I have ever observed. He's covering up. This catatonia is a conscious act. There is an instinctive force within him. He's waiting."
At least today we can hope he is carrying around that kitchen knife for the right reason... to cut his birthday cake.
I discovered that today is everyone's favourite William Shatner-faced lunatic's birthday via the @Official.MichaelMyers account.